Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Tell You

for years i hid my thoughts so that i would not be shamed and ridiculed so that i would not feel stupid dumb weird strange crazy for years this is what i did this is what i did to be normal so that other people would say that i am normal so that i could belong.

some times i found myself unable to stop and to tell the world the stuff that was inside my head and when i realized that i had exposed myself i hurriedly retreated to that safe place where i was just that guy just that person who is kind of strange but is generally a nice guy and i would sigh with relief that i escaped those awkward moments when people would not know what to say to me.

i have not been able to stop myself to hide myself to run away to reveal myself to you and i was afraid i was very afraid i was so scared that you would walk away simply walk away you would discard me because you would see that i am a stupid shallow ignorant fool and that you would laugh at me and tell me that i am worthless.

and even when you tell me that you love me you adore me that you are mine i was still so afraid so scared that you would discover the real me and you would laugh at me laugh at me like other people have laughed at me and made fun of me and dismissed me rejected me.

until last week.

i am ok now. i am so happy that i cannot sit still i cannot stop the music that has been playing inside my head for days and days and days i just know that i can tell you i can tell you everything.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

boy does this ring so true for me. which makes me all the more happy for you that you are both in such a wonderful place together. -W